{going abroad… again!}

I just received the modules {classes} that I will be taking in the fall while in London, England and I am over the moon!

first off i was terrified about this process: last fall while in Bristol  i had to go, physically {gasp!}, to the faculty {department} and see which classes were available. showing up 15 minutes early i was informed that no drama courses were available however after some discussion two were found and i filled the third slot with a module in modern languages. this class actually turned out to be incredibly cool because it was an over view of theatrical works in various countries taught by teachers who spoke and taught that language.

when approaching classes this time i figured i wouldn’t get any of the classes i wanted {pessimistic yes} so i didn’t put a lot of weight  or energy into the classes i chose. i went so far as to pick a class solely because we would be keeping a sleep journal {i was not placed in this module}.

those that I have been placed in are beyond my wildest dreams. i’ll be in a module that takes us to the various theaters in the city so that we can examine the ways that a play can be staged in many different venues. this will allow me to familiarize with the city in which i hope to someday live in as well as the companies i hope i will find work in. my second module is about tourism and how it affects the types of theatre being produced. i hope to someday work for disney so this is directly related to my post college goals. finally i will be taking a module that examines how where a play is put on affects the audiences overall experience. i am fascinated by this idea and have been experimenting with how identical pieces could be read differently by the audience based on the environment in which they sit… or stand.

i can’t express how blessed i am to get the opportunity to continue in my studies abroad, surrounded by people who approach my craft differently than i do and have been taught to in the past. i know that these modules are laying the ground work for my fututre and that is both exciting and terrifying.

one year till i’m out in the world

will i be ready… will you?

xx

Advertisements

{what to do when the roomie is away}

bust into the apparent and yell “Honey I’m home”

if not reply sing “All By Myself” instead

wash face

take shower

see that tree makeup is still on

wash face again

change into pajamas

pick a movie

decide movie is too campy

pick new movie

{15 mins}

discover you’re starving

make pasta

sit in bed

press play

{2 mins}

realize hot coco is what would make your life complete

set down bowl

rethink putting bowl with red sauce on bed with white sheets

place bowl on floor

make hot coco

press play

enjoy non astounding movie

realize its been two hours and coco has yet to be tasted

chug coco

clean dishes

Norah Jones

play dress up

intrigue others

cut elastic out of jumper bought five months ago

text

instagram

blog

relish the fact that tomorrow is your day off

repeat {or sleep}

{Lets Talk About Weight}

My flat mate has OCD and she weighs herself every morning after going to the bathroom and before getting dressed. When I moved in she said that I was free to use her scale whenever…

I grew up without a scale, I based what I saw as my weight around how I felt and how I looked in the mirror. This was both good and bad. I wasn’t obsessed with a number but I, like most, can be very critical of my own body.

In high school my Dr. had a question on the sign-in form that would ask if there was something you would change about yourself {or something to this effect}, and I would always say that I would like to loose weight. When the nurse would take me back to record my weight, I would set everything down and take off my shoes {even flip-flops}. After I would tell my mom my weight with a giant grin and internal sigh of relief {if it as within the 10lb rage of what I knew I weighed and what I put on my resume}. In the examination room the Dr. would always look at my weight note and without fail correct me, saying do you mean you would like to get more toned? I would respond sure but I thought in my head “no I want to see that number drop”.

My sophomore year of college I was working out semi-regularly and taking dance classes every week. I saw my body really change during that time, even my best friend from middle school noticed what looked like a weight loss, though the number on the scale actually increased five ponds because of muscle mass. That was the best I have ever felt about my body. I could see the change and so could others; the number really didn’t matter to me.

But it wasn’t until this week that I realized what my Dr. had been trying to communicate to me.

While in England for five months I dropped a solid 15lbs even though I was convinced I was gaining weight. Despite this I am sickened by how much I love the number on the scale. I am back in dance class, but I find myself determined to keep the number low. I wont weigh myself after eating and I usually wait until after dance, when I feel my thinnest, standing in just my leotard. I was even afraid to look at the number after Spring Break; I ate to my hearts content and drank plenty of alcoholic beverages to boot, so I again was convinced that I weighed more… I only gained one pound and sadly this pleased me.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with loosing weight, when doing so in a healthy way, but I do think that there is a problem with this obsession with the number that I see from my friends, myself, and the industry I am pursuing. Currently while I like the number I don’t feel like I look my best. When I look in the mirror I see what I could improve on {I am sure this is something that I will always deal with… there will always be things to work on and that I want to change}. My goal, however, is to retrain my mind to focus again on how I feel not my interpretation of my reflection or what I read on the scale.

A New Year

to say this year was magical is an understatement.

in 2014

i was able to do ethnographic research in San Francisco and have sections of my work read during a conference with leaders in the field at a top u.s. university

in the bay area i was introduced to an important term, especially in current events, White Privilege and i was allowed to see first hand not only how that affects people but how unaware of it many actually are. i learned to push back, to examine all sides, to cry openly, to let yourself feel deeply but not to grow bitter or resent, and to remember there are always those who love and support you.

i spent the summer in texas with family and friends, processing the spring semester and furthering my course work.

i was allowed to question, something we are told to do but are actually deterred from practicing. i also discovered the value of growing up and apart. as we age our opinions differ and things that once defined who we are fade. i have been able to experience love after separation and that time and distance cannot break some bonds

i have also been blessed to study in england.

here i have found a version of myself i did not realized existed. i have grown more confident, as if that was possible. i have learned to value myself more, something i thought i had been doing but realized in the love of others i was not doing enough. i’ve been re introduced to the excitement of the theatre, how in a country very different from my own there is a whole new way to approach the art and to push and drive it to new forms.

ive found a home and a family miles away from my own, and for that i am forever grateful.

I traveled: england, scotland, ireland, portugal, switzerland, germany, and [soon] the netherlands.

from this all i can say is that it is not just the places, the historical buildings, the factories, the liquor, or the distance. its life: friends, memories, and experience that will take us to a new level of ourselves.

thank you for this journey. thank you for this life.

Godspeed

{Mid Odyssey}

I’m sure most of us have been asked this at some point in life: “do you have any goals for the future?”

And I’m also sure that most of us wish our response was a little more eloquent than mine: “duhhh”

Truth is my goal for the future is to live. I don’t yet know where that will take me. New York, Disneyland, Cuba, all the above?

Right now all I know is that each day I get to act, study theatre, walk the cobble stone streets of England, and drink tea is a success ❤

A Proper Cup of Tea

I have been in England for a grand total of two weeks and I can now say that I know how (though I don’t always choose) to make a proper cup of tea.

1. boil the water {our flat came with an electric kettle and I don’t think I’ll be able to live without one now}
2. pour water on top of teabag {already in cup} hint: in America you’d call this English Breakfast Tea… in England its just tea
3. let the tea sit for 3-5 minutes THEN remove the teabag {does this step come as a surprise to anyone else?}
4. add milk. there is a trick here, if you do not pour enough milk your tea may be called builders tea. why you may as yourself as I did. well friends this is because when you have builders in your house and you offer to make them a cup of tea but you don’t want to use up all your milk, you pour less and the tea is darker. so yes, the lighter the tea the better
5. sugar, some like me cant live without it, others manage just fine

You can now say your next tea party is sorted

=)